Saturday, 22 January 2011


Why do we care about our image? We seem so worked up on how we look, how we act, what we believe. We pick our own styles, in the hope that the style portrates our life. But why?

I know personaly that I often let how I want to look influence me in life, I hide behind different styles, how I feel, what I'm doing, where I'm going. I don't just care about how I look, I also care about how I look as a christian, It's easy to say 'yeah I'm christian' but its harder to say it and mean it, Do I live like God wanted me to? no, far from it, I do try but I am a sinner. I don't want to be a fashion christian, following god to look good, I want to folow hm because I want to! I love Him! It beats me up when I meet other christians, who put on a faulse front, who try and make out that living for God is really easy and that their life is perfect because of God. Life is'nt easy but because they care about how they are viewed they use the perfect life to hide it asthough it makes them better christian. No chistian is betterthan another! God loves us equally! Don't let your image come between you and God, or betweenyou and you friends!

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Wait and see

It's not fair
to find you here,
waiting for me
I don't care
That I care
way too much
Wait and see
that you are inside of
The places that you knew you loved
The only time you'll ever trust
You are done,
It's all been done!

Sunday, 16 January 2011

Don't let my past bring you down.

Sometimes we let our past haunt us, wrong decisions that come back and bite us on the arse, lies that cause trouble later on, come on, we have all lied at some point or another, and then get caught out. Silly things that cause hurt, upset and anger. I would be the first to admit that I wish I had donethings differently. I wish I took different steps in life, I often wonder what would have happened if....

But in reality we can't go back, we can't change things. We can rectify them, work out our mistakes. Start anew, but even if we had a new start, how long would it be till we wanted to start anew again? I guess I'm saying, no matter how many fresh start at e we get, we would always want another.

I really wanted to start this year different, Changing my attitudes, Helping more where I can, being the person God wants me to be, not the person I want to be! I've tried to be different but I often set my self back, doing something I'm not prod aout, saying something wrong or acting childish.

It's taken me a while, well most of mylie to realise myactions don't just effect me, they effect the people around me, my family, my friends, and my girlfriend. I often get asked by people abou my past, things like how did you do at school?, or what relationships have you been in and what happened to them? I find it hard to answer some questions, because they remind me of the things I'mnot so proud about, I didn't dotoo well in school, I didn't work, I messed about, I caused trouble, my past relationships are difficult to talk about to, I feel foolish and nieve, but no matter what I cant change what has hapened in my past, as much as I would like to, I can't.

I don't what my past to haunt me anymore, I do't want it to effect me, or the people around me, and I don't want it to effect the person I love, I don't want people dwelling on it, I want a new start! and ant the people around me to share in my new start, lead me, throw me, take me through this show me I am a different person! I really want this tobemy last new start, I know I can make this work.

Saturday, 15 January 2011

New Start

Wow, its been a long time since I last blogged.

Well, it's a new year, and I want to start this new year with a new start. last year was a massive roller coaster, (please forgive me for the cheese). I lost my van, I found Abi, I lost work, I had a great holiday, I lost money, I brought Larry monster, Great things happened with the band, I made some awesome friens for life. even thought alot of great things happened, I still got dragged down by the crap, I strugled to make ends meet and pay my bils, my finances took a battering, and I'm still trying to get my head abouve the water now.

So, with this New start, I want to prepare myself for the future, I want to start saving for plans I have, I'm 22 nearly 23, and I want My own house, spread my wings. but I need to control myself, stop wasting my money and time on silly piontless things.
also, I want to change my Attitude, I can get Angry really fast, When I drive I can get wound up easily! It effects my driving, I drive arrogantly, I Speed,i shout at people!, but for the last two weeks I've been carefull not to let things wnd me up, I consentrate, and I'mloving driving again.

i just hope I can keep up wih these, and who knows maybe by 2012, I might have a house, or i could be driving for Red bull in F1!