Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Still searching.

I'm still searching, hunting, looking, wanting, craving for God, where is he?

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

How did it come to this?

I'm sorry it's been a while. I've been really busy and distracted, I'm not sure where to start this one, or where it's going to head. I guess I'm pretty happy, life seems to be serving me well at the mo, doors are opening, and I'm making steps forward in life. But for some reason, I feel incomplete, lost, missing. I can't place my hand on what it is, I know I've mentioned this before but I'm feeling distant from God, he seems like a ghostly figure in my head. how can i close this gap?

just lately the only time I feel close to God is when I'm playing drums in the band, great things are happening with us, we seem to have all these opportunities coming up, the chance to play to different people, and I can't thank God more for doing this, we Know that as a band without him, none of this would be happening, not off our own backs. I want to praise the lord through my drumming, thank him for the skill he has given me! being in the band enviroment is great, we can talk openly about our life, our spiritual life and anything, we pray for each other and when were together we seem to be able to create such a close environment, that draws you to God, but as soon as band practice has finished that's it. No matter how much I try, I can't draw myself to God.

I know I have to have patience when it comes to this, but I seem to be wearing myself a bit thin. I beat myself up over it, I've dug myself a big hole and can't find a way out. I just can't figure out how it came to this.