Turning my back

I can't take this anymore, Ever since my family stopped going to the Salvo, I'v kept on going, I took a few weeks away from it, but I missed everything about it, my friends, the atmosphere, the worship. I didn't feel right without it, is it weird? I've grown up in this church and I don't know any different. so I started to attend again.

But by going, I've been made to feel like I've betrayed my family in some way, and its really dragging me down, my parents seem to resent me for going, and question as to why I go?. its been really hard to show my face at church, without people getting on my back,

I may have made a really silly mistake but I've decided that I'm not going anymore just to please my family, I can't take the attitude against me any more, and if loosing something that means alot to me to make it go, then so be it!

Am I making the right choice? have I made a mistake? I know I'm not loosing any faith in God, but I'm loosing alot of other stuff. I'm going to miss the place, and the people, and I don't know how easy it will be to walk away.

this isn't something I've just decided to do, I've prayed about it for weeks, and still things seem unclear, I might be being impatient, but I'm thinking maybe taking action will make things clearer. I really hope so,

I'm really laying it out now, but I know God's got my back, like always and he will make his path clear when I'm ready.

Hectic.

The last few day, well weeks, have been pretty manic, alot is going off around me, I seem to be experiencing some awesome feelings. towards God, and my friends. Its amazing. I haven't felt so happy and content in a long while. It really shocks me to think of my old out look on life only a few weeks ago. but things are changing, and its epic.

Also, I have had a couple of sadder days in the last week, on Friday i managed to TRASH my beloved Van 'Bessie' in to a land rover, and wrote her off. I was so sad i shed a tear for her. Its sad to say but Bess and I had had some good times, and now im lost without her, I feel Trapped and very annoyed with myself. it sucks having no transport.

but on the better side, work is crazy, I have that much on I don't know where to turn! Its awesome to have work, but now all I seem to be doing is working, and without my Bess, its even harder.... must buy a new van.

well that was a short insight to my going ons lately, hmm feels good to have finally written another blog.