How come, every time, anything good happens in my life, I get really excited about it and give it my all, just to be knocked back down again later??? just as things start to look up again, something is always waiting around the corner, to kick me while im down.
It seems whenever I do something, Either personally, spiritually, or Anything, I put all my hope in to it, hoping things will happen or unfold, hoping I will gain something from the situation, hoping things will stay like they are? it just seems that I put hope in lost cause's?. Then when things dont work out, or go as planned(wanted) or just collapses, I take it really badly, as tho its my fault or I'm a failure?. Is it just me? or do I have some sort of problem?
When things go wrong, I get dragged down by it, and get taken to this dark place, that if I'm honest, scares me! I start thinking of reasons why it may have happened, and I begin to hate myself, for being this failure, or for letting it happen, again. I become this monster that snaps, and runs. I cant control it, I cant help it, I get so worked up that it just takes over, and I become something that isn't me!. should I take it this badly?
After feeling angry with my self, I start to feel sorry for myself, sorry that I put such hope into something/ someone. time after time, it happens again and again. each time out of the dark seems to be short lived, and I know it wont be long before I'm back again.
I have to stop thinking that I'm alone in this, I get so wound up in all this that I put God to one side!! when really I should be using His strength in these situations, It's so easy to forget that God can/will help, when you get so caught up with yourself. I need to start putting all my hope and my attention in God! Give Him my hand, and let him guide me.
I don't know why I forget about God at times, But I'm so lucky that I have many good friends who can point me in the right direction, and remind me of His love for me, for us, for everyone, I might only be one person, but God knows me! he knows everything about me, so I need to stop placing all my hope in lost cause's and start trusting in God more as he will never fail me, or leave me!!
2 Corinthians ch 4 v 17 - 18
For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!. So we don't look at the troubles we can see now, rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
Hey Mate
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with you. I have exactly the same problem, when I get upset because things have let me down or people have or situations haven't gone how I want them to then I cry and get angry and upset and go completely psycho and end up hating the situation, myself and other people.
The problem though isn't the situations or the people but the fact that where we've placed our faith is wrong. I'm still learning to do it and I'm not there yet by any stretch, but placing faith in God and taking any hopes or situations to him and giving them over to him, that way no matter how it turns out it's okay because you've put your faith in something that can't ever let you down. It's hard to try and focus on God and doing what he wants you to do when your heart and head are pulling you in a different direction or distracting you.
The anger and the hatred and doubting your self-worth isn't from God either, it's the enemy. God doesn't want us hating ourselves or our lives, he's so loving and generous and all he wants is for us to focus on him, and he'll look after everything else. Matthew 7:7 - 12, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
God has so much in store for us and the enemy is trying to distract us from all the amazing things that are waiting for us, even if there are only little things that you can say were good in a day, they are far better to focus on than the bad.
Situations change because nothing will stay good and perfect in a world that has fallen, but we can see the good in situations and the changes they bring. The enemy waits until we are feeling low and then piles on more self doubt to keep us there. Don't let him make you feel that way, I'm always here to listen if you think you need to talk and there are so many other people who are there for you too!
Caz