Today has been great for me, I managed to look at the situations that are effecting Me, or My family in a different view. In the last few days I have been praying ALOT, for many reasons. My main area of prayer has been aimed towards my Dad and Mum. My dad has been really ill in the last few weeks, My Dad is one of my biggest heroes, he has been a great influence in many areas of my life, including my faith.
Seeing my Dad look so faint, and weak, has really tough, you never think that someone you thought was strong, could actually end up like this. I;m really ashamed of my self , as if I was at home when my dad was, I'd stay in my room to avoid facing him, or I'd stay away from the house, because, it just hurt so much, i feel so helpless, as i cant do anything for him, I feel like i have failed him, so i got scared and hid from it. I left my dad when he was in this time of need! how could I have done this? its not christian like? its not very son like?
I was sat in my room yesterday, talking to a friend, I was looking for someone to confide in, or someone to have sympathy on me, but he told me straight! he made me realize that I shouldn't be hiding, no matter what the problem is, I don't need to battle alone! i need to trust in God and offer my thoughts and worries to him.
I seem to have this thing, that when I get caught up in these situations or difficulty, I always feel im alone, I bottle it up, and hide it. until i get reminded that God is here! God is Great! God will help. but why do I forget this time and time again? I don't get it! but I'm so lucky that I have these friends who watch over me, and take me back to God, when they know I need that little push!!.
Mate,
ReplyDeleteIt's a huge thing when you see your heroes looking weak when you are just used to seeing strength, but the thing is everyone is weak and you shouldn't be beating yourself up though because you think you have failed him.
This is a time when you do need to be strong for your dad and rely on God to give you the strength to be there for him. Hiding from him and the situation won't make it better and it won't help you or your dad. Don't feel ashamed that you haven't been there for him until now, everyone gets scared and runs away from some things.
If you need support you have God to be your rock and amazing people around you to help you when you need to see God's support or people to talk to. It's not easy to be strong for people when you do it on your own but you have God and you have so many people around you to help and pray for you!
xxx